Today has been a huge headache, and I’ve cried twice already… and it’s only 10:30am.
It all started around 12:30am when husband got home from a week away in the jungle. I was groggy and sleepy-eyed as he came in, but I managed a short conversation and good night kiss before I went back to sleep. I don’t like being sleeping monster when he gets in from a long trip like that, so I was frustrated with myself and felt bad.
This morning at 7:00 I woke up to use the bathroom and drink some water. That’s when husband realized he overslept and was supposed to meet a group at their hotel at 7 to head out to translate! So he quickly got up and out the door, and I got a quick kiss goodbye. I figured he would be back by lunchtime, or at least we could have dinner together or something.
Then when I was getting ready I put on my boots and ouch they were too tight! Even with my thinnest socks (and these were my loosest boots!). I put them on anyways and wore them on my morning errands…
Promptly at 9:15am I left home to go get my medical insurance set up. I know, I know, I should have had this done months ago, but honestly I tried. I had to wait from paperwork from my employer, then I had to wait until my schedule offered a free time- last Saturday morning. When I went they were closed. So I went yesterday morning (Friday) after asking permission from my boss. Apparently my name was entered incorrectly in the system, so the insurance woman told me I needed to go to the main hospital location and take care of it. Instead, I went to school and got my name changed on all the documents, and figured the woman could do the rest from her end this morning. Wrong yet again… I STILL have to go to some other location that I don’t even know where it is… and being pregnant and a Gringa I am not going alone. But oh, who to call to go with me on a Saturday morning? There’s no one. Because husband is 3 hours away visiting a town with a church that needs help.
I cried as I walked out of the office and down the busy street. As if my huge whale-like pregnant Gringa self didn’t get enough views already, people were definitely looking at the tears rolling down my face, and my awkward attempts to try to stop the flow. I was so furious that all this paperwork had been for nothing, and that I don’t even know how to get to the other location to get my insurance set up, and to top it all off, that the month ends next week, and then I’ll need new paperwork from my employer with my most recent month’s pay receipt. Yep, so much going on and so many emotions from this preggo.
To ease my attitude, I went into the store to buy a few things… they had some good sales going on, so I grabbed a few items that are on my list of “making things more comfortable for when my parents are here” and the “baby daddy care package” list. (Those two lists seriously exist in my notebook.) I even snagged some oatmeal that was buy one get one 1/2 off! Great deal, because the brand we like is the pricier brand. Husband calls me at this point asking what happened with insurance, and then told me where he was, and that I shouldn’t expect him until later tonight. Great. All alone.
I get to the cash register and the worker rings my stuff up… 34 soles and some change. I hand over my debit card to pay, and after I enter my pin number we wait and wait and wait for the transaction to be processed. After a good 45 seconds the machine says “no system” so we try again. And again. The machine usually takes like 10 seconds, so this was weird. They send me to another cash register to try on their card reader. Nothing. Twice. At this point I am red faced, frustrated, and on the brink of tears again. I don’t carry cash around with me (except for maybe 10 soles & change for bus), and I don’t have any other debit cards to my name. The kind, oh so patient workers take me back to the original cash register and make sure my card wasn’t charged. It wasn’t. Then they try two more times with my card. Nada. I awkwardly and emotionally tell them it’s ok, I don’t have another method of payment, and I’ll go to the bank and figure it out. Then I walk out and cry as I go to the bus stop.
I take the bus a few blocks, and at one point someone asked me to get up from my seat and give it to a woman with her kid. I showed my belly and said, “no” because it really ticks me off when people think I’m just taking advantage of the seat and they can’t see my huge belly. At my stop, I went for tamales… only the kind I love (it’s “natural” with less spice and no olive in it) was sold out. So I had to get the original one. The old lady made a deal with me (1 for 3 soles, or 2 for 5) so I got two. Only husband isn’t here to eat the second one as usual… I’m all alone.
As I walked home, I felt my toes rubbing against the front of my boots- ouch. Definitely going to need to buy some new shoes to wear this winter, since these are all I have, and sandal weather is over. I made it inside and unzipped my boots off. Ahh, sweet relief for the first time this morning.
All that to say that my Saturday has sucked so far. And it’s now 10:53am. I’ve eaten a tamale, typed a random post because sometimes I just have to type. I know nobody cares or wants to hear complaining, and I’m sorry. I really am. I like being positive and upbeat and all, but today I just can’t be. I’m home alone on a Saturday. My card wasn’t working so I have about 16 soles to my name. I’ll need to eat at some point. Husband is 3 hours away and won’t be back until later. And he leaves tomorrow for another trip. And I need to possibly wash some underwear. And try to go to the bank and figure out what’s up with my card. And ask my boss for permission to go to the insurance place on Monday morning. And etc. etc. etc.
The only thing keeping me from balling up and crying or screaming is baby boy. I feel him moving around now that I’ve given him some food to eat and some grape juice. And I’m reminded right now, that despite the crappy day I’ve had so far, he’s here with me. And even though I’m trying my hardest to prepare for him and be a good mom, I also need to take it easy and relax. Stress isn’t good for baby or me, so that’s why I’m letting it go as my fingers race across the keyboard.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Today can get better from here. I just need to let it.